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When we say it’s the most 80s movie of all 80s movies we mean it. Ripped men who can’t act, fighting the Russian Oligarchy, John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, and... Montages. Mostly montages.
Tyler Clark
May 24, 2023
Good morning Consumers. This is Please Consume, the Film newsletter that loves you more than Ben Affleck loves being from Boston.
Rocky IV (1985)
This week has turned out to be some of the most kitschy and over the top films we’ve covered yet (yes this trend will continue for the rest of the week). It wasn’t on purpose but we’re happy to see it.
As we continue this trend let’s have a discussion about what’s possibly the most ridiculous and over-the-top 80s sports movie (aside from Sylvester Stallone’s other over-the-top 80s sports movie, Over the Top).
We’re going for the most 80s film of all time, the movie that ended the cold war.
Today we’re talking Rocky IV.
Pure 80s flare
When we say it’s the most 80s movie of all 80s movies we mean it. Ripped men who can’t act, fighting the Russian Oligarchy, John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, and… Montages.
Mostly montages.
But above all else it’s doing the most 80s thing: taking a brilliant film that became a cultural touchstone and franchising it like you’re Ray Kroc.
A shocking amount of 80s films come from this depraved movement headed by money-grubbing studio chiefs. Other examples include Jaws: The Revenge, Superman: The Quest for Peace, and Back to the Future Part III. All films that revolutionized the film industry just to be destroyed a handful of years later.
Rocky IV may not be the worst of these films but it certainly strays the farthest from its roots.
The first film is a grounded drama about a fighter who has the drive, the talent, and the heart but not the means to make his dreams come true. This one, of course, is the harrowing story of a man who has to defeat a genetically engineered Russian boxer.
Yet despite all that this film has a bizarre power that makes it effortlessly rewatchable. It’s fun, energetic, and boasts a great soundtrack and surprisingly nice cinematography.
When we say it’s the most 80s movie of all 80s movies we mean it. Ripped men who can’t act, fighting the Russian Oligarchy, John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, and… Montages. Mostly montages.
But above all else it’s doing the most 80s thing: taking a brilliant film that became a cultural touchstone and franchising it like you’re Ray Kroc.
A shocking amount of 80s films comes from this depraved movement headed by money grubbing studio chiefs. Other examples include Jaws: The Revenge, Superman: The Quest for Peace, and Back to the Future Part III. All films that revolutionized the film industry just to be destroyed a handful of years later.
Rocky IV may not be the worst of these films but it certainly strays the farthest from its roots.
The first film is a grounded drama about a fighter who has the drive, the talent, and the heart but not the means to make his dreams come true. This one, of course, is the harrowing story of a man who has to defeat a genetically engineered Russian boxer.
Yet despite all that this film has a bizarre power that makes it effortlessly rewatchable. It’s fun, energetic, and boasts a great soundtrack and surprisingly nice cinematography.
Moist Men!
This may be a controversial choice because on the surface this clip may seem dry. But look at that surface again, it’s glistening like a diamond. A rock hard diamond.
All jokes aside, this may be the sweatiest movie of all time. There is an incredible conversation in the Cheers! pilot when all the fellas at the bar debate what the sweatiest movie of all time is. (Link to that clip here)
And while Rocky II is called out and they do eventually land on a movie (also a fantastic punchline) we contend if this film had been released at the time it would have shot to the top of their list. And if all that isn’t wet enough for you then stay for that classic milk dump at the end!
Today’s Scene
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If you want to watch Rocky IV at home, you can find it here.
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