- Please Consume
- Posts
- Wet Webs
Wet Webs
Okay yes, we’re doing our third superhero film this year (fourth if you include Unbreakable) but come on, it’s the caviar of the superhero genre!
Tyler Clark
May 25, 2023
Good morning Consumers. This is Please Consume, the Film newsletter that loves you more than Ben Affleck loves being from Boston.
Spider-Man (2002)
Okay yes, we’re doing our third superhero film this year (fourth if you include Unbreakable) but come on, it’s the caviar of the superhero genre!
It’s Spider-Man!
It’s the perfect blend of classic blockbuster entertainment and comic book fan fare perfectly executed on the big screen. It’s equal parts badass action and deeply uncool gosh golly energy. Director Sam Raimi is so clearly pulling from the original 60s Stan Lee Steve Ditko run of the character.
It’s fun, it’s silly, it’s genuinely emotional, it’s Spider-Man!
The Multiverse of Madness
We are so relieved that Raimi directed this film because the alternatives are really upsetting.
Initially, they brought in Texas Chainsaw Massacre director Tobe Hooper on board. While we don’t know much about his iteration, we are frankly glad it didn’t happen.
Once he left the project they brought on Joseph Zito who’s most known for making Invasion USA. You know, the movie where Chuck Norris has the two uzis by his side.
And while we are morbidly curious how that would have turned out we can guarantee it wouldn’t have the emotional center that what we eventually got.
After they both passed, Big Jim Cameron tried buying the rights to make his own rendition starring Leonardo Dicaprio. Does that sound cool to you? Well think again.
His treatment is one of the most upsetting things you’ll ever read. It features a gross out zit popping gag, a genuinely upsetting domestic abuse scene between MJ and Flash Thompson, and, most infamously, the absolutely disgusting scene of Peter watching MJ get ready for bed.
“He is tripping on the power of being able to come and go like a wraith… to watch without being seen. The ability to go anywhere without permission. He feels like an adult for the first time. A man.” said Cameron.
You hate James Cameron for his lack of subtlety. I hate him for making a treatment with pictures that I had to read through to research this piece.
All that being said, we really need to count our blessings that all of that never came to fruition and we ended up getting a film directed by one of the most notoriously kind and gentle nerds to ever make a movie.
And we say that with love because at the end of the day that is what Raimi brings to this movie: his soft adorkable heart.
He not only understood the assignment of making a true Spider-Man movie, he excelled so much that they gave him way more freedom on the sequel, and he excelled so much that they took all that freedom away for the third. But that’s a write-up for another day.
Soaked Spidey
This is certainly going to be our least controversial pick of the week.
When I told friends I was covering this scene, MULTIPLE of them told me this was not only a formative movie, but this scene was a sexual awakening for them.
So who am I to argue? It is an incredible kiss.
Kirsten Dunst reflected in an interview back in 2021 about how Raimi handed her a book of iconic kisses throughout cinema. “That made me realize how romantic and special Sam wanted this to be.” she said.
It’s a beautiful sentiment even though it was a nightmare for star Tobey Maguire. In the audio commentary for the dvd release he paints an entirely unromantic picture.
"When I was actually upside down, I couldn't breathe. Water was pouring down. I mean, it couldn't have been more uncomfortable. I literally couldn't breathe[...] The mask is rolled up to my nose and the mask is wet so it's no longer breathable at all. I could only breathe through my mouth and then I was kissing her, so there was nowhere to breathe. It was unbearable. And it was, like, 4:30, 5 in the morning."
As much of a terrible experience it was, boy are we glad he fought through and gave us one of the most iconic and parodied moments in 21st Century cinema.
Today’s Scene
Stream It
If you want to watch Spider-man at home, you can find it here.
What’d you think of today’s email?Letting us know what you thought, helps us make the best film newsletter. |
Guess Tomorrow’s Scene
Reply to this email with your guess of tomorrow’s scene.